Communicating with Your Teenager

Nicole Wagoner Reporting

Talking with your teenager can be much easier than you think. Deep down (in some cases, you might have to dig extra far), all teenagers want to be treated with love and respect. Remember that this is a confusing and turbulent time for all individuals - the hormonal fluctuations, questioning of personal identity, and constant nag of high school drama can leave your child feeling frustrated and drained. Teenagers have a lot on their plates, and sometimes the irritation they show towards you is simply projection of the fear, confusion, and anxiety that accumulates within them.

However, when you do speak with your child, you must remember to remain calm and open-minded. If you want your child to respect you, you must first treat them with the same respect that you expect from them. If you feel blood boiling frustration in regards to something your teen says, tell your child that you will continue the conversation later. Your child will never respect you if you yell at them and belittle their thoughts and feelings. Furthermore, how can you expect your child not to scream at you when you are screaming back?

Most importantly, be sure that you work hard everyday to keep your relationship with your child open and comfortable. Use eye contact when you are speaking with your child. Smile, and use positive body language. Hug your teenager, tell them "I love you," and plan movie nights. The more comfortable your child feels around you, the more likely he or she will open up to you. But you must remember: if your child has something important to confess to you, you need to remain calm, reassure them that you love them, and if you need time to cool down, tell them that you will talk later.

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