A Governor, A Mistress, And His Four Sons

 

 

      Governor of South Carolina, 49-year-old Mark Sanford revealed during a press conference that he has been having an extramarital affair with a woman in Argentina. After apologizing to his family and staff for lying to them, the question placed on the table now is how this affects his family.

 

     Dr. Lawrence Balter, Professor at New York University’s Department of Applied Psychology understands that profound impact on children as he has children of his own. With the story being covered all over the front page of papers, Sanford’s four sons are facing the brunt of the situation. “It can’t be good for anyone in the family, it has to be so embarrassing and humiliating to his kids” Dr. Balter told Joan Hamburg during The Joan Hamburg Show WOR 710. The actions of the affair itself were described by Dr. Balter as “a terrible blow to his wife and such a disloyal thing to do.”

 

     His children who have to deal with the publicity of the affair have to remember that they are separate from their parents. “You can remind the children that if anyone says anything to them…that they’re not identical reflections of their own parents,” Dr. Balter advised. He said if their father did something bad or very wrong in this case, they are different people and they do not have to repeat the mistakes that their parents made since that is a fear that arises in people.

 

     Dr. Balter said they have to acknowledge their father did something wrong because they are feeling hurt, embarrassed and distressed, but they are separate people.

 

     The silver lining in the cloud, he said, is they can learn that it is really important to be honest in a relationship. He identifies Sanford as someone who is “an advocate for family values and disregarded his vows he made to his wife.” Therefore, his sons can take away a lesson from this episode. In the future, the boys can use better judgement and be more considerate Dr. Balter said.

 

     He said if a marriage is on the rocks, it should be dealt in an upfront way as opposed to running away and having an affair. However, he does realize that the Governor, despite his responsibility to his family and his wife, he also has a responsibility to his job. Although this does not change the fact that he is only human. “On the one hand there’s our public persona, and then there’s a private individual person and he has the same limitations and weaknesses as everyone else” he said.